Find it in yourself

Last month, we talked about how it’s okay to be a “burden” because humans are made for community. I stand by the assertion that we’re not meant to go at life alone, but what happens when we find ourselves in a season of life where we don’t have a community to lean on? Sometimes you’re in between “villages” and you have to lean on your own strength for a little while to get through.

In a recent rewatching of my favorite TV show, “Madam Secretary,” I was struck by a line the main character’s husband says, “When everything seems to be lacking in integrity, you know what you do? You find it in yourself. You change the world right from where you’re standing.” 

I started thinking about what that would be like in practice. If I had unshakeable hope in the future because I know that if I can contain integrity, courage, loyalty, empathy and drive to pursue justice, then others will and do too.

These traits, whether inherent in humans or not, are cultivated and nurtured by a community. I was raised by and around incredibly kind people, who actively work to make the world a better place. I want to help people because I was lucky enough to be around people who also helped others. They taught me that I was capable of creating change and that change starts with empathy and compassion.

It is easy to look at the world and see only the bad. There is much of it. But it does not exist alone — we recognize the bad because we contrast it with all the good. There is also so much of it.

Even if you don’t have a solid community on which to lean right now, you can find goodness within and keep going on the knowledge that you’re not the only one who cares. You have empathy because others do too. You have mercy because others do too. You know those traits are in other people because those traits are in you. You look at the world and want to fix the bad in it — and others do too. Seek out your community however you can. But remember that like calls to like. Be the good you want to see in the world. Your existence gives someone else hope too.